Let me just say right of the bat(the right side of the bat? It's off! *snickers* Grammar joke...) that the reason I put "Review" in between quotes is not because I'm going to mislead you guys into some creepy Percy Jackson fan-fic(Oh lord have mercy on us...), but because I've never done an "official review"; and frankly, I think it's going to come out a little subjective. Now, don't immediately click away because of that! I'm gonna rant here and there, but I'm going to try to also make it review-ish. Now, let's begin this "review", shall we?
Okay, let's get this right off our behinds and state the fact. The first Percy Jackson movie wasn't very...faithful to the books(Oh, don't we know it!), and let me disappointingly say, this sequel cheated on the book's relationship...again. I mean, after the first book was butchered like that, how is it even possible to redeem the series? Well, the various missing characters from the first movie are now introduced in an awkward manner that tries to make it seem as if they were there in the camp since Percy first arrived, which we know from the first movie that they were never there(Dionysus, Clarisse, Chris Rodriguez, etc.). Other key elements like Thalia's story, Kronos' uprising, Annabeth's blonde hair(*GASP* I know!!) and the prophecy are brought up. This is a good thing, right? Well... sort of.
At the start of this movie, you see these key plot elements missing in the first movie rapidly explained, and you're actually kind of happy because of this. It's off to a good start! They're redeeming themselves! I mean, they're trying, right? Yeah... But that's just about it.
Okay, yes, there are certain elements that are on the book that appear on the movie, but it's as if they were doing that to say: "Hey, we know exactly how the book goes, but we're just going to throw in little details from the book! Instead of, you know, following its plot and stuff!" That's how I felt through out this movie. They were following what seemed like an outline of the book, meaning that the only thing in common the movie had with the book was the quest for the golden fleece. That's about it. Even Grover's kidnapping plays a little part on this movie, which was why the book's quest was started in the first place. Book fans are going to be very disappointed when they see the movie take an acid trip and drift away from what made The Sea of Monsters such an awesome book. I would say even frustrated, due to the fact that they seem to be grazing on the book's actual plot. It's sad... This could be such a great movie series if it were done correctly, I would say even be a competitor with the Harry Potter movies. But there's a difference between these two series of movies: Harry Potter actually follows the books.
Now, this is just an example, I'm not trying to make the Percy Jackson movies and Harry Potter movies go into a death match. All I'm saying is that it makes a huge difference to follow the books. At least to the book fans. I'm obviously not saying they should force the whole book into the movie, because that's, well, impossible(unless you want the movie to be like more than 3 hours), but keep the key plot elements in it. Now, I know I said that this movie brought the key elements of the book series, but it's so weird... They brought them, but used them in their own way, making their own plot. Does that make sense? Okay, here's an example:
*The Original Book Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the men wanted her back, so they searched for the magical fish food to bring her back and fought the magical dragon at the entrance of the girl's castle.
The Movie Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the magical dragon came to take the men. The men found the magical fish food in the magical dragon's lair, defeated the dragon in his lair and rescued the girl.
*This is copyrighted, don't take my idea or I'll make a foundation and fund raise for 5 more movies of Fast and the Furious
.
Because one movie about oily men, cars and big breasted women fighting isn't enough.
Somehow, this makes this movie experience even more frustrating than the first one. They seem to be going as the book says, but suddenly the movie takes these weird turns and changes it completely. Now, like I said, I understand you can't make an exact copy of the book, but to drift away from what made the book great is the real problem. For example: The suspense of Kronos, the pacing, character development, etc. But, will a casual movie goer not be disappointed because they don't know how the book goes,making them unaware of the differences?
It's kind of hard to say. From a casual non-book perspective, this movie is pretty... pretentious.
I mean, it doesn't feel natural. From the odd pacing, to the convenient stuff to progress the plot(which by the way, are not in the book. I'm not including the taxi, by the way) to the seemingly dated effects, it just feels empty. Honestly, they're portraying Luke as the inept bad guy who always fails at the end, but then comes back again! It just doesn't feel threatening... Maybe there could be some parts where you could say "That's pretty cool..." and maybe you could get a chuckle or two, but overall it feels empty. It could be enjoyable, but then again, I read the books...
Now, would I recommend it to someone casual? Maybe, but if there was nothing else to see. There isn't really anything special here, just a casual semi-kids action movie(I say semi because of a scene were Grover almost says "bitch", and I think a few more other scenes like that. I really don't care but ratings do and parents might) that could be watched with a few friends.
As for the book fans, however, I'd talk about my disappointment. That it's frustrating to see the book elements there, but not executed well at all and that they probably won't like it. So in the end:
Book fans: You're going to be disappointed. It doesn't have that magic the book has... Nor the story line for that matter. It's even more saddening that the book has so much potential to be a great movie, but in the end is going to be seen as that greek mythology movie a few years back without nothing really memorable from it. You could watch it, just because you have a certain glint of hope or just for seeing how bad it really is. At least we still have the books, right? :(
Casual movie-goers: It could be like-able, but like I said, nothing memorable. As I previously stated, it's pacing is odd, the loopholes are convenient and it's kind of expected what's going to happen. The effects kinda look dated and the action is meh. So should you watch it? Well, if there's a get-together of friends and there's nothing else or if your kid wants to see it, yeah, I guess you could go. But don't expect your mind to be wowed.
Well, this was my attempt at making a review/rant. You probably saw it's a bit opinion-based, but I tried to help the casual audience too and wasn't trying to make a "professional review". So yeah... You know, I should make that a thing. Rant Reviews or Reviewing Rants... I'll work on it.
Stay tuned next week when I talk about the laws of bagel-making physics!
....
jk. lol. ikr?
P.S. Annabeth's hair is blonde! BLONDE!
-Doug

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