Lonely days, guys. They come in all shapes and forms. A rainy lonely day (which are really awesome for sleeping, at least in your dreams you could get with Scarlett Johansson, that counts, right? [For girls, I guess it's Fabio?]), a sunny lonely day, a lonely day surrounded by people, you name it.
When I have a lonely day it's not because I get up and I'm instantly lonely. Something happens or I do something that makes me feel that way, like I'm sure most of you do. For me it's because I over think. I start asking myself why I didn't talk to this person or why this person isn't talking to me or whatever. Let me be clear, by the way, I don't care about the latter statement, but it's the origin of why I start feeling lonely.
The interesting thing is that I like my alone time. I've never had a problem with being alone because when I'm alone I can do my favorite stuff (play guitar, writing, read, play video games) yet, sometimes the loneliness creeps in. Why? Well, here's my half-assed theory (if it can even be called that, maybe a psychologist or a pothead disproved this 50 years ago, who knows?).
We feel lonely when we start fearing that our current "lonely" state is going to be our state for the rest of our lives. At least for me, it's always got to do with my future and whether I'm going to end up alone under my bed surviving off Great Value Twinkies, like I currently am (my Saturdays are WILD!). Now, we have to realize that having such a fear is irrational, because it doesn't work like that. I mean, yeah, life's a douchebag and can cause you hell and whatnot, but it's us who choose whether we'll meet new people or not. It's us who choose whether we'll live in loneliness or solitude.
Solitude.
Let's face it, there are just days when we are alone. Whether we cross anyone's mind in those days or not, who knows. But who cares? We have solitude. We should appreciate solitude. How is solitude different from loneliness, you may ask? Well, to me, loneliness is a fear. Solitude is sort of a spiritual state of mind, something that we want. You have yourself. That's all that matters. You have your own mind to talk to and reflect upon. You have creative time on your hands and time to really see your life in the future and how you plan to build it.
Instead of slumping around, wondering why people haven't spoken to you or why you haven't met new people or why you took two chocolate chip cookies instead of one at that party, making you look like a fatass, you could use that time to find yourself and find what you want in your life. Maybe meeting new people? Finding a partner? Setting goals for yourself? Taking one chocolate chip cookie or none? You choose!
Let me put things in perspective:
Loneliness: Alone but accomplish nothing. (For example, eating a tub of ice cream while watching Marmaduke)
Solitude: Alone but accomplish stuff for yourself. (For example, setting goals for the future)
Let's change the current state of mind. Because, let's be honest, complaining that we're alone won't do anything. And I'm not saying that loneliness will never creep up. I'm saying that when it does creep up, you use it for the better. Get up, walk, sing your Nickelback or the music of your liking. If you have a hobby, do that. If you don't, find one. Loneliness is a fear, and the only way to get over it is to face it. Appreciate that you have time to be alone and be a human being. Appreciate the fact that you can appreciate it. Be alone.
Well, that's enough inspirational shit for the day! I'm off to watch Miley Cyrus' slowly decaying career! Take care and for God's sake, take just one cookie next time, no one likes a face-stuffer!
:)
-Doug
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Unusual Day Entry #1: Different Bathroom Stalls, Same Objective
Ho-boy, listen to this! Another entry to my log! I had eaten Panda Express the day before yesterday and my stomach was a nuclear ravaged wasteland of warfare the next morning. It happens every time I eat at that place, and dammit, it is worth it!
Anyways, I came to my school with the urge of just running away and going to a private, secluded place and do my business. However, since I'm a good boy and don't do drugs, I stayed in school! I was a walking disaster of unfulfilled desires. I was clenching and cringing and trying not to scream in agony. And the day, needless to say, was as slow as (wait for it) constipation.
Look, I prefer private bathrooms, like a lot of people do but if I gotta go I gotta go. The thing is, at school it's a whole different thing. It's a quest of doing your job silently and precisely. It's not a thing of pride, it's more of the nature of the school. In a public bathroom at a mall, I'll do all the noise I can! Hell, I'll start drumming on my thighs and I'll repeatedly punch the bathroom stall door and yell Indian chants! But at school, it's almost like a silent, mutual policy to be never heard.
So the inevitable hour came. Where I couldn't resist any longer and was 100% sure the next wave of pain would be too much. So I asked my teacher. He was discussing something so I couldn't quite get his attention. After like 3 minutes of the pain coming back and me almost sweating, he finally looks at me and lets me go.
I didn't run. That's part of the "Silent Policy". You can't let people know you're about to take the biggest deuce of your life, or you'll break the rules. About halfway to the bathroom I see a dude who I kind of know, also walking towards the bathroom. In my mind I'm thinking: "Great. Now I have this guy to worry about." Okay. No worries. I've done this before.
So I enter the bathroom and go straight to the urinal. I try to make it last so when he leaves, I'll go into the stall.
Okay, before I continue, let me explain something real quick. My school doesn't have toilet paper rolls for each stall. It has a big one outside, near the sink, so you have to stockpile like a refugee to then use after you're finished. It's the stupidest thing ever and it always leaves me wondering what happens if you run out of toilet paper in the stall.
Now, moving on. When I turn from the urinal I see the dude stockpiling toilet paper. Now, I usually don't care for awkward moments or am not affected by them, but goddamn. Us storing toilet paper while trying not to make eye contact was pretty awkward.
After we're finished piling up, he says something about leaving his class and hurrying up (See, right there he broke the silent code! He shouldn't speak of it! ). This didn't make it more awkward, just more embarrassing than it had to be. We went inside our stalls, and that's when I realized, we were in this together. We were both doing the same thing. Jesus, I get crummy just thinking about it.
The creepily precise moment when we both come out of our stalls at the same time was what made believe in fate. Seriously, have in mind that my intestines where having freaking World War Z. I was probably in there for a fair amount of time. So, we both had the same state of pain and misery I could estimate. Or maybe he's slow. Ugh, who cares? God, it's over. Stop thinking about it.
Anyways, after we're done, we had a small and a mildly amusing talk about how they should change that toilet paper storing thing. Now, right there, we kind of broke the code. But you know what? I don't care! We had the same thing in mind and I feel we went on a mental agreement to never speak of this again. Our friendship status went from acquaintances to bathroom stall close acquaintances!
I'm writing this because there's a moral here. Never be ashamed of your humanity and that awkward moments are only awkward if you make 'em awkward. I kind of hate that word, so I'll stop using it. Anyways guys, be human and remember the toilet's only reason is to flush down waste.
So...why haven't flushed down #swaggers yet?
-Doug
Anyways, I came to my school with the urge of just running away and going to a private, secluded place and do my business. However, since I'm a good boy and don't do drugs, I stayed in school! I was a walking disaster of unfulfilled desires. I was clenching and cringing and trying not to scream in agony. And the day, needless to say, was as slow as (wait for it) constipation.
Look, I prefer private bathrooms, like a lot of people do but if I gotta go I gotta go. The thing is, at school it's a whole different thing. It's a quest of doing your job silently and precisely. It's not a thing of pride, it's more of the nature of the school. In a public bathroom at a mall, I'll do all the noise I can! Hell, I'll start drumming on my thighs and I'll repeatedly punch the bathroom stall door and yell Indian chants! But at school, it's almost like a silent, mutual policy to be never heard.
So the inevitable hour came. Where I couldn't resist any longer and was 100% sure the next wave of pain would be too much. So I asked my teacher. He was discussing something so I couldn't quite get his attention. After like 3 minutes of the pain coming back and me almost sweating, he finally looks at me and lets me go.
I didn't run. That's part of the "Silent Policy". You can't let people know you're about to take the biggest deuce of your life, or you'll break the rules. About halfway to the bathroom I see a dude who I kind of know, also walking towards the bathroom. In my mind I'm thinking: "Great. Now I have this guy to worry about." Okay. No worries. I've done this before.
So I enter the bathroom and go straight to the urinal. I try to make it last so when he leaves, I'll go into the stall.
Okay, before I continue, let me explain something real quick. My school doesn't have toilet paper rolls for each stall. It has a big one outside, near the sink, so you have to stockpile like a refugee to then use after you're finished. It's the stupidest thing ever and it always leaves me wondering what happens if you run out of toilet paper in the stall.
Now, moving on. When I turn from the urinal I see the dude stockpiling toilet paper. Now, I usually don't care for awkward moments or am not affected by them, but goddamn. Us storing toilet paper while trying not to make eye contact was pretty awkward.
After we're finished piling up, he says something about leaving his class and hurrying up (See, right there he broke the silent code! He shouldn't speak of it! ). This didn't make it more awkward, just more embarrassing than it had to be. We went inside our stalls, and that's when I realized, we were in this together. We were both doing the same thing. Jesus, I get crummy just thinking about it.
The creepily precise moment when we both come out of our stalls at the same time was what made believe in fate. Seriously, have in mind that my intestines where having freaking World War Z. I was probably in there for a fair amount of time. So, we both had the same state of pain and misery I could estimate. Or maybe he's slow. Ugh, who cares? God, it's over. Stop thinking about it.
Anyways, after we're done, we had a small and a mildly amusing talk about how they should change that toilet paper storing thing. Now, right there, we kind of broke the code. But you know what? I don't care! We had the same thing in mind and I feel we went on a mental agreement to never speak of this again. Our friendship status went from acquaintances to bathroom stall close acquaintances!
I'm writing this because there's a moral here. Never be ashamed of your humanity and that awkward moments are only awkward if you make 'em awkward. I kind of hate that word, so I'll stop using it. Anyways guys, be human and remember the toilet's only reason is to flush down waste.
So...why haven't flushed down #swaggers yet?
-Doug
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Remember "Twitter Whore"?
Hey guys! Do you remember when calling people "twitter whores" was a thing, and now it's kind of the norm to be twitter whore-ish? It kind of lost its meaning like "Groovy" or "Hannah Montana".
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm against people tweeting constantly or that I ever found that phrase derogatory, I mean, that's what Twitter is for, right? I always think of Twitter as the equivalent of a Facebook User on cocaine. I know right? Good luck getting that deep metaphor out of your head!
Anyways, I think "Twitter Whore" should be given a new definition. Instead of it being a person who tweets constantly, since that's the whole point of it(nowadays anyways), it's someone who takes Twitter way too seriously.
Let me explain myself. Someone who takes Twitter too seriously is someone who's life rotates around the social network. It's someone who brags about their followers to people even though not even Jesus Christ cares. It's someone who devotes to make their life "interesting", not for themselves, but for the oh-so-faithful followers. The person breathes Twitter! They'll make babies with Twitter!Well, you get the picture.
This applies to any social network, by the way.
Insert social network name Whore <--- As you can see in my very detailed formula, the laws of whore-ism does indeed apply to any social network. YES! Even Blogger! Though, I'm not sure if it's really considered a social network by many.
I guess I focused on Twitter because that's where I really first heard the term and I remember that word being thrown here and there. AND it's one of my most recent experiences. Let's call this human, Minty. Minty started telling me about their followers and who retweeted what and whose twat. I DON'T CARE! NOBODY DOES! Other Twitter Whores do! Go tell them and brag about your cybernetic digits that represent people clicking a button that represents that you're being followed! They'll join your Twitter posy!
One could always ignore these things, but it's sad to see someone take so much goddamn importance about a social network. I don't want to sound like a crotchety old man but it is sad! Social networks are great and fun, but don't live for it.
So with my formula, you can apply it anywhere you want! I'll call it "The First Law of Whore Relativity". So go out and don't be stuck behind a social network! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my locked, dark room writing more posts and crying about how I couldn't win the lottery for the seventeenth time! That's what...social people do, right?
-Doug
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm against people tweeting constantly or that I ever found that phrase derogatory, I mean, that's what Twitter is for, right? I always think of Twitter as the equivalent of a Facebook User on cocaine. I know right? Good luck getting that deep metaphor out of your head!
Anyways, I think "Twitter Whore" should be given a new definition. Instead of it being a person who tweets constantly, since that's the whole point of it(nowadays anyways), it's someone who takes Twitter way too seriously.
Let me explain myself. Someone who takes Twitter too seriously is someone who's life rotates around the social network. It's someone who brags about their followers to people even though not even Jesus Christ cares. It's someone who devotes to make their life "interesting", not for themselves, but for the oh-so-faithful followers. The person breathes Twitter! They'll make babies with Twitter!Well, you get the picture.
This applies to any social network, by the way.
Insert social network name Whore <--- As you can see in my very detailed formula, the laws of whore-ism does indeed apply to any social network. YES! Even Blogger! Though, I'm not sure if it's really considered a social network by many.
I guess I focused on Twitter because that's where I really first heard the term and I remember that word being thrown here and there. AND it's one of my most recent experiences. Let's call this human, Minty. Minty started telling me about their followers and who retweeted what and whose twat. I DON'T CARE! NOBODY DOES! Other Twitter Whores do! Go tell them and brag about your cybernetic digits that represent people clicking a button that represents that you're being followed! They'll join your Twitter posy!
One could always ignore these things, but it's sad to see someone take so much goddamn importance about a social network. I don't want to sound like a crotchety old man but it is sad! Social networks are great and fun, but don't live for it.
So with my formula, you can apply it anywhere you want! I'll call it "The First Law of Whore Relativity". So go out and don't be stuck behind a social network! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my locked, dark room writing more posts and crying about how I couldn't win the lottery for the seventeenth time! That's what...social people do, right?
-Doug
Friday, August 16, 2013
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Movie "Review"
Let me just say right of the bat(the right side of the bat? It's off! *snickers* Grammar joke...) that the reason I put "Review" in between quotes is not because I'm going to mislead you guys into some creepy Percy Jackson fan-fic(Oh lord have mercy on us...), but because I've never done an "official review"; and frankly, I think it's going to come out a little subjective. Now, don't immediately click away because of that! I'm gonna rant here and there, but I'm going to try to also make it review-ish. Now, let's begin this "review", shall we?
Okay, let's get this right off our behinds and state the fact. The first Percy Jackson movie wasn't very...faithful to the books(Oh, don't we know it!), and let me disappointingly say, this sequel cheated on the book's relationship...again. I mean, after the first book was butchered like that, how is it even possible to redeem the series? Well, the various missing characters from the first movie are now introduced in an awkward manner that tries to make it seem as if they were there in the camp since Percy first arrived, which we know from the first movie that they were never there(Dionysus, Clarisse, Chris Rodriguez, etc.). Other key elements like Thalia's story, Kronos' uprising, Annabeth's blonde hair(*GASP* I know!!) and the prophecy are brought up. This is a good thing, right? Well... sort of.
At the start of this movie, you see these key plot elements missing in the first movie rapidly explained, and you're actually kind of happy because of this. It's off to a good start! They're redeeming themselves! I mean, they're trying, right? Yeah... But that's just about it.
Okay, yes, there are certain elements that are on the book that appear on the movie, but it's as if they were doing that to say: "Hey, we know exactly how the book goes, but we're just going to throw in little details from the book! Instead of, you know, following its plot and stuff!" That's how I felt through out this movie. They were following what seemed like an outline of the book, meaning that the only thing in common the movie had with the book was the quest for the golden fleece. That's about it. Even Grover's kidnapping plays a little part on this movie, which was why the book's quest was started in the first place. Book fans are going to be very disappointed when they see the movie take an acid trip and drift away from what made The Sea of Monsters such an awesome book. I would say even frustrated, due to the fact that they seem to be grazing on the book's actual plot. It's sad... This could be such a great movie series if it were done correctly, I would say even be a competitor with the Harry Potter movies. But there's a difference between these two series of movies: Harry Potter actually follows the books.
Now, this is just an example, I'm not trying to make the Percy Jackson movies and Harry Potter movies go into a death match. All I'm saying is that it makes a huge difference to follow the books. At least to the book fans. I'm obviously not saying they should force the whole book into the movie, because that's, well, impossible(unless you want the movie to be like more than 3 hours), but keep the key plot elements in it. Now, I know I said that this movie brought the key elements of the book series, but it's so weird... They brought them, but used them in their own way, making their own plot. Does that make sense? Okay, here's an example:
*The Original Book Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the men wanted her back, so they searched for the magical fish food to bring her back and fought the magical dragon at the entrance of the girl's castle.
The Movie Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the magical dragon came to take the men. The men found the magical fish food in the magical dragon's lair, defeated the dragon in his lair and rescued the girl.
*This is copyrighted, don't take my idea or I'll make a foundation and fund raise for 5 more movies of Fast and the Furious
.
Because one movie about oily men, cars and big breasted women fighting isn't enough.
Somehow, this makes this movie experience even more frustrating than the first one. They seem to be going as the book says, but suddenly the movie takes these weird turns and changes it completely. Now, like I said, I understand you can't make an exact copy of the book, but to drift away from what made the book great is the real problem. For example: The suspense of Kronos, the pacing, character development, etc. But, will a casual movie goer not be disappointed because they don't know how the book goes,making them unaware of the differences?
It's kind of hard to say. From a casual non-book perspective, this movie is pretty... pretentious.
I mean, it doesn't feel natural. From the odd pacing, to the convenient stuff to progress the plot(which by the way, are not in the book. I'm not including the taxi, by the way) to the seemingly dated effects, it just feels empty. Honestly, they're portraying Luke as the inept bad guy who always fails at the end, but then comes back again! It just doesn't feel threatening... Maybe there could be some parts where you could say "That's pretty cool..." and maybe you could get a chuckle or two, but overall it feels empty. It could be enjoyable, but then again, I read the books...
Now, would I recommend it to someone casual? Maybe, but if there was nothing else to see. There isn't really anything special here, just a casual semi-kids action movie(I say semi because of a scene were Grover almost says "bitch", and I think a few more other scenes like that. I really don't care but ratings do and parents might) that could be watched with a few friends.
As for the book fans, however, I'd talk about my disappointment. That it's frustrating to see the book elements there, but not executed well at all and that they probably won't like it. So in the end:
Book fans: You're going to be disappointed. It doesn't have that magic the book has... Nor the story line for that matter. It's even more saddening that the book has so much potential to be a great movie, but in the end is going to be seen as that greek mythology movie a few years back without nothing really memorable from it. You could watch it, just because you have a certain glint of hope or just for seeing how bad it really is. At least we still have the books, right? :(
Casual movie-goers: It could be like-able, but like I said, nothing memorable. As I previously stated, it's pacing is odd, the loopholes are convenient and it's kind of expected what's going to happen. The effects kinda look dated and the action is meh. So should you watch it? Well, if there's a get-together of friends and there's nothing else or if your kid wants to see it, yeah, I guess you could go. But don't expect your mind to be wowed.
Well, this was my attempt at making a review/rant. You probably saw it's a bit opinion-based, but I tried to help the casual audience too and wasn't trying to make a "professional review". So yeah... You know, I should make that a thing. Rant Reviews or Reviewing Rants... I'll work on it.
Stay tuned next week when I talk about the laws of bagel-making physics!
....
jk. lol. ikr?
P.S. Annabeth's hair is blonde! BLONDE!
-Doug
Okay, let's get this right off our behinds and state the fact. The first Percy Jackson movie wasn't very...faithful to the books(Oh, don't we know it!), and let me disappointingly say, this sequel cheated on the book's relationship...again. I mean, after the first book was butchered like that, how is it even possible to redeem the series? Well, the various missing characters from the first movie are now introduced in an awkward manner that tries to make it seem as if they were there in the camp since Percy first arrived, which we know from the first movie that they were never there(Dionysus, Clarisse, Chris Rodriguez, etc.). Other key elements like Thalia's story, Kronos' uprising, Annabeth's blonde hair(*GASP* I know!!) and the prophecy are brought up. This is a good thing, right? Well... sort of.
At the start of this movie, you see these key plot elements missing in the first movie rapidly explained, and you're actually kind of happy because of this. It's off to a good start! They're redeeming themselves! I mean, they're trying, right? Yeah... But that's just about it.
Okay, yes, there are certain elements that are on the book that appear on the movie, but it's as if they were doing that to say: "Hey, we know exactly how the book goes, but we're just going to throw in little details from the book! Instead of, you know, following its plot and stuff!" That's how I felt through out this movie. They were following what seemed like an outline of the book, meaning that the only thing in common the movie had with the book was the quest for the golden fleece. That's about it. Even Grover's kidnapping plays a little part on this movie, which was why the book's quest was started in the first place. Book fans are going to be very disappointed when they see the movie take an acid trip and drift away from what made The Sea of Monsters such an awesome book. I would say even frustrated, due to the fact that they seem to be grazing on the book's actual plot. It's sad... This could be such a great movie series if it were done correctly, I would say even be a competitor with the Harry Potter movies. But there's a difference between these two series of movies: Harry Potter actually follows the books.
Now, this is just an example, I'm not trying to make the Percy Jackson movies and Harry Potter movies go into a death match. All I'm saying is that it makes a huge difference to follow the books. At least to the book fans. I'm obviously not saying they should force the whole book into the movie, because that's, well, impossible(unless you want the movie to be like more than 3 hours), but keep the key plot elements in it. Now, I know I said that this movie brought the key elements of the book series, but it's so weird... They brought them, but used them in their own way, making their own plot. Does that make sense? Okay, here's an example:
*The Original Book Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the men wanted her back, so they searched for the magical fish food to bring her back and fought the magical dragon at the entrance of the girl's castle.
The Movie Plot: The girl was reborn a goldfish, but the magical dragon came to take the men. The men found the magical fish food in the magical dragon's lair, defeated the dragon in his lair and rescued the girl.
*This is copyrighted, don't take my idea or I'll make a foundation and fund raise for 5 more movies of Fast and the Furious
.
Because one movie about oily men, cars and big breasted women fighting isn't enough.
Somehow, this makes this movie experience even more frustrating than the first one. They seem to be going as the book says, but suddenly the movie takes these weird turns and changes it completely. Now, like I said, I understand you can't make an exact copy of the book, but to drift away from what made the book great is the real problem. For example: The suspense of Kronos, the pacing, character development, etc. But, will a casual movie goer not be disappointed because they don't know how the book goes,making them unaware of the differences?
It's kind of hard to say. From a casual non-book perspective, this movie is pretty... pretentious.
I mean, it doesn't feel natural. From the odd pacing, to the convenient stuff to progress the plot(which by the way, are not in the book. I'm not including the taxi, by the way) to the seemingly dated effects, it just feels empty. Honestly, they're portraying Luke as the inept bad guy who always fails at the end, but then comes back again! It just doesn't feel threatening... Maybe there could be some parts where you could say "That's pretty cool..." and maybe you could get a chuckle or two, but overall it feels empty. It could be enjoyable, but then again, I read the books...
Now, would I recommend it to someone casual? Maybe, but if there was nothing else to see. There isn't really anything special here, just a casual semi-kids action movie(I say semi because of a scene were Grover almost says "bitch", and I think a few more other scenes like that. I really don't care but ratings do and parents might) that could be watched with a few friends.
As for the book fans, however, I'd talk about my disappointment. That it's frustrating to see the book elements there, but not executed well at all and that they probably won't like it. So in the end:
Book fans: You're going to be disappointed. It doesn't have that magic the book has... Nor the story line for that matter. It's even more saddening that the book has so much potential to be a great movie, but in the end is going to be seen as that greek mythology movie a few years back without nothing really memorable from it. You could watch it, just because you have a certain glint of hope or just for seeing how bad it really is. At least we still have the books, right? :(
Casual movie-goers: It could be like-able, but like I said, nothing memorable. As I previously stated, it's pacing is odd, the loopholes are convenient and it's kind of expected what's going to happen. The effects kinda look dated and the action is meh. So should you watch it? Well, if there's a get-together of friends and there's nothing else or if your kid wants to see it, yeah, I guess you could go. But don't expect your mind to be wowed.
Well, this was my attempt at making a review/rant. You probably saw it's a bit opinion-based, but I tried to help the casual audience too and wasn't trying to make a "professional review". So yeah... You know, I should make that a thing. Rant Reviews or Reviewing Rants... I'll work on it.
Stay tuned next week when I talk about the laws of bagel-making physics!
....
jk. lol. ikr?
P.S. Annabeth's hair is blonde! BLONDE!
-Doug
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Ranting, Raging and Why Beets Must Die
Well, hello there, fellow webber; non-existent reader(if you are reading this, congratulations on finding one of the most obscure and putrescent corners of the internet, only beaten by the ever so fabulous MySpace). I've been wanting to start a blog for about half a quarter of a quarter of a century(not completely accurate, but that's life) and just rant about stuff. You know, right? Like what every person does in a blog?
Honestly, what other thing do you do on a blog other than blatantly rant about your opinions without the real life harassment? What's that? Close minded? Me? It's my opinion, and I'll do it without any of the real life harassment! See?! I love blogging!
I'm obviously kidding, but you gotta admit the most entertaining blogs are the ones were the person writing it is frighteningly passionate about said rage ranting subject. I mean, someone who hates everything about beets with all their soul could actually make beets interesting! Whereas a blog about beet facts can make you want to jump off a building or make you question your life in general. Here's an example:
Normal Boring Fact Blog(For Lifeless Beet Enthusiasts!): Beets are great for you! They have lots of vitamins and minerals like potassium, vitamin B and C, beta-carotene, beta-cyanide(I know right?!) and more complicated-sounding healthy stuff that you probably don't even know what use they have in your body! Do you have erectile dysfunction? GREAT! Beets can fix that! Beets will change your life![Just as a side note, yes I did look it up, beets can in fact help you get it up. Now I'm questioning my life in general...]
Now, someone who follows a blog like this and reads it is either: 1. Dead inside or 2. Has erectile dysfunction and has searched for countless hours for a solution without having to show up at a doctor and show his ABHORRENT ABNORMALITY... no, but seriously, just go to a doctor. I'd much rather have a doctor look at my junk than to show people my beet-searching internet history. It's less embarrassing. Now here's an example of a rage rant blog, about the same subject:
Why Everything Even Remotely Related to Beets Must Die: F**K BEETS!!!1!1! You know what beets are good for??? NOTHING!!! WHAT IN THE GOOD F**K AM I GOING TO DO WITH BETA-CAROTENE IN MY BODY??? WILL IT HELP ME GET A JOB AND PAY FOR MY FUTURE ELDERLY HOME?? DIDN'T THINK SO!!1!! YARRRGHHH!!!*
*This is the undeniable noise they're making while typing this rant.
See the difference? No matter how close minded and directionless the blog is, seeing someone rage over anything is entertaining! Whether it be beets or women rights, it's funny to see someone get mad at...well, nothing?
Don't you see? They're literally arguing with no one(I'm including myself in the most probable future of this blog). I mean, there's no one on the other side of the computer screen saying: "Beets are in fact the best at helping you get it up." or "Women statistically outnumber the number of male graduates... You are indeed a sissy." It's just them typing away...angrily and making noises(this last one's not accurate, but it's funnier thinking they do).
But we don't know what experience they've had with beets, do we? Who knows if their evil Aunt Judy made them eat beets for breakfast, lunch, dinner or just for the lols! I mean, we could be reading a post-traumatic testimony about beets and that rage rant is helping them get through! Getting it all out! We shouldn't judge people's hate for vegetables.
There's a very fine line of funny and sad of someone raging over beets because they have some sort of beet-trauma.... But hell, if I had a beet-trauma, I'd welcome you to laugh at me! I'd probably cry myself to sleep later that night when my mom cooks beets, but no harm done.
Now let's get to the point I wanted to make at the start of this post: Ranting on a blog is pointless, but it's still fun. I plan to do my fair share of rants in the future of this blog... Now, you might be calling me a hypocrite for writing a whole post about it, but I'll have you know that I'm defending the ragers! The ones who feel it's their sworn duty to rage! It's entertaining to us!
So I'm planning to do rants without the Caps Lock overdose, but if one day I wake up to make pancakes and find no syrup or have too many socks stretched out on a morning rush, well hell, I probably will make a rage rant about how the universe abhors my very existence!
So I hope someone sticks around here and I hope to be writing soon! Farewell, and may the evil beets never cross your path!
-Doug
Honestly, what other thing do you do on a blog other than blatantly rant about your opinions without the real life harassment? What's that? Close minded? Me? It's my opinion, and I'll do it without any of the real life harassment! See?! I love blogging!
I'm obviously kidding, but you gotta admit the most entertaining blogs are the ones were the person writing it is frighteningly passionate about said rage ranting subject. I mean, someone who hates everything about beets with all their soul could actually make beets interesting! Whereas a blog about beet facts can make you want to jump off a building or make you question your life in general. Here's an example:
Normal Boring Fact Blog(For Lifeless Beet Enthusiasts!): Beets are great for you! They have lots of vitamins and minerals like potassium, vitamin B and C, beta-carotene, beta-cyanide(I know right?!) and more complicated-sounding healthy stuff that you probably don't even know what use they have in your body! Do you have erectile dysfunction? GREAT! Beets can fix that! Beets will change your life![Just as a side note, yes I did look it up, beets can in fact help you get it up. Now I'm questioning my life in general...]
Now, someone who follows a blog like this and reads it is either: 1. Dead inside or 2. Has erectile dysfunction and has searched for countless hours for a solution without having to show up at a doctor and show his ABHORRENT ABNORMALITY... no, but seriously, just go to a doctor. I'd much rather have a doctor look at my junk than to show people my beet-searching internet history. It's less embarrassing. Now here's an example of a rage rant blog, about the same subject:
Why Everything Even Remotely Related to Beets Must Die: F**K BEETS!!!1!1! You know what beets are good for??? NOTHING!!! WHAT IN THE GOOD F**K AM I GOING TO DO WITH BETA-CAROTENE IN MY BODY??? WILL IT HELP ME GET A JOB AND PAY FOR MY FUTURE ELDERLY HOME?? DIDN'T THINK SO!!1!! YARRRGHHH!!!*
*This is the undeniable noise they're making while typing this rant.
See the difference? No matter how close minded and directionless the blog is, seeing someone rage over anything is entertaining! Whether it be beets or women rights, it's funny to see someone get mad at...well, nothing?
Don't you see? They're literally arguing with no one(I'm including myself in the most probable future of this blog). I mean, there's no one on the other side of the computer screen saying: "Beets are in fact the best at helping you get it up." or "Women statistically outnumber the number of male graduates... You are indeed a sissy." It's just them typing away...angrily and making noises(this last one's not accurate, but it's funnier thinking they do).
But we don't know what experience they've had with beets, do we? Who knows if their evil Aunt Judy made them eat beets for breakfast, lunch, dinner or just for the lols! I mean, we could be reading a post-traumatic testimony about beets and that rage rant is helping them get through! Getting it all out! We shouldn't judge people's hate for vegetables.
There's a very fine line of funny and sad of someone raging over beets because they have some sort of beet-trauma.... But hell, if I had a beet-trauma, I'd welcome you to laugh at me! I'd probably cry myself to sleep later that night when my mom cooks beets, but no harm done.
Now let's get to the point I wanted to make at the start of this post: Ranting on a blog is pointless, but it's still fun. I plan to do my fair share of rants in the future of this blog... Now, you might be calling me a hypocrite for writing a whole post about it, but I'll have you know that I'm defending the ragers! The ones who feel it's their sworn duty to rage! It's entertaining to us!
So I'm planning to do rants without the Caps Lock overdose, but if one day I wake up to make pancakes and find no syrup or have too many socks stretched out on a morning rush, well hell, I probably will make a rage rant about how the universe abhors my very existence!
So I hope someone sticks around here and I hope to be writing soon! Farewell, and may the evil beets never cross your path!
-Doug
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